I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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