I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
