need another drink. this is the easiest way
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
