I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
