I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
