You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize