im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think my moral compass just broke
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