ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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