Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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