giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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