The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Bring me that man meat
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
