ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize