a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
