mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
