I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
