I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
