the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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