Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize