honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The air was thick with penises
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
