I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
