Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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