How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
