is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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