I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
