All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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