What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
