absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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