So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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