I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
