I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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