the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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