I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
