I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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