we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize