onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
