Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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