Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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