so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You ruined the universe
Randomize