He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
