brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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