why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
