ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
