Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
