He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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