so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize