I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
