So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
