do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
