Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
