I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
