My brain says no but my pants say off.
someone owes me an orgasm
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
