sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
