why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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