You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
