Your tits are I can't wait for
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
