i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
