as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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