My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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