no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
