Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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