do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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