I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Randomize
