i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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