No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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