I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
