Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
