Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
