Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
