yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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