bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
