I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i love accidental penises.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
