he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
