Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
