If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
