Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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