you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
